How not to make a cup of tea!

A woman knocked on my door early this morning. She was holding a blackberry bramble and a pair of secateurs in her hands. Apparently, she was renting our holiday cottage at Crwsyddig and wanted me to clear the footpath close to the cottage.

I’d just made myself a cup of tea, so I asked her in and enquired if she’d like a cup. Life would have been much easier if she’d refused my offer, but no, she said she’d love a cup.

Now I blame it on struggling the day before, trying to update the description of my book series using a code generator. It’s a very simple process but yesterday nothing went right and it fried my brain.

Any way, I boiled a kettle of water and attempted to make tea. I spotted a bramble growing from the kitchen wall, which was vaguely unnerving as I thought we’d cured undergrowth penetrating the walls of the old house when we’d doused the bramble with weedkiller and re-pointed the outside.

The tea looked odd – sort of yellow, thick, and lumpy. I’d used custard powder instead of milk. I fetched a new cup and tried again. This time it was thin and pale. I’d forgotten the tea bag and used coffee whitening. I was trying to make conversation and just couldn’t do the two things at once.

Then the woman’s husband arrived and him being interested in motorcycles, I introduced him to my husband and went back to my tea making. Attempt three! Looking in the cup, I could see a red pepper, an overripe tomato, half a dozen chillis, and some cubes of crumbly cheese. Now, this definitely wasn’t going to make a cup of tea! I’m questioning my sanity here.

By now, my husband and the woman’s husband had arrived, and I had two more cups of tea to make. I refilled the kettle and fetched more fresh cups. I was worried about not having enough coffee at this point.

This time I managed to get tea bags and water into the cups, and just as I was adding milk, I realised I should have asked how my guests liked their tea. Please, don’t let me have to start again. I was running out of cups.

‘Milk and sugar, please’ was the answer.

Thank the lord for that! I turned to my husband and said, ‘This is like one of my bloody stupid dreams.’

That was when I woke up.

With dreams like these, I should be an author. Oh, I am…

Note: We don’t and never have had a holiday cottage at Crwsyddig, and the red pepper was was too large to fit in the cup… My husband says I need psychoanalysing.

10 thoughts on “How not to make a cup of tea!

      1. I dreamed that I was on stage in front of an audience of women and I told them I’d first do a bit of magic .. too long to tell here but I went in to create an ingenious joke and woke up laughing. Joanna asked me why I was laughing in my sleep.. so I told her the joke and we both cracked up.. true story😂🎈☘️


  1. Having analysed this post with the mind of a person who works on multiple projects simultaneously, I can confirm that this is a ‘plot choice dilemma’ dream. You have more than one idea simmering in your thoughts and you’ve been unable so far to decide which way to go. 🙂
    A great, lighthearted piece at a time when we could all do with a laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s true that I do have two ideas on the go at the moment, and I’m not sure if either will develop into anything worth writing. Most of my dreams seem to be me struggling to get somewhere or do something. In this case, I think it was my frustration at the day before’s battle with technology. 🙂


    1. Tea is on its way but it may be cold by the time it reaches you. As for energy – plum out of it. I was up three times in the night with a poorly dog and have been awake since about 1.30am. Just back from the vet. Now we’ve spent £75 on her, she’s eating like a Labrador and bouncing. Just typical!


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